


Fastest Gems in the East

by E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cowboys & Cowgirls, Gen, Ruby Rider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29422680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: Ruby Rider's bringing Tejas Purple in.
Relationships: Amethyst & Ruby (Steven Universe)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	Fastest Gems in the East

**Author's Note:**

> For Palentines Day! It's Valentines Day, but for platonic relationships. :B

** Fastest Gems in the East **

It was high noon. And by that, they meant it was 10.32am, but that was close enough.

Ruby Rider, fastest gem in the east, trudged onto the dusty street, the brim pulled low as she surveyed the empty thoroughfare. Her bandana danced in the wind, and her eyes were narrowed. She could see the silhouette of her opponent on the far side of the street.

“Time’s up, partner,” she growled. “I’m bringin’ you in.”

Tejas Purple smirked, her long, swaying mane framing her face, her tall black hat throwing shadow over her eyes. She wore a thick leather coat, underneath which Ruby could see two holsters.

“I’ve brought down one and nineteen lawmen from here to Kansas,” she replied. “You ain’t got nothin’ on me.”

“You got ten seconds to back down, Tejas Purple,” snarled Ruby. “Or I’m gonna _hose you down._ ”

“No way you draw before me, partner.”

“Is that so, partner?”

“It is so, partner.”

“ _Is that so, partner?_ ”

“ _It is so, partner._ ”

“Fine,” said Ruby, coming to a stop about ten paces from Tejas Purple. “Shattered or alive, I’m takin’ you down.”

Her hand hovered over her holster.

“You ain’t takin’ me alive, lawgem,” replied Tejas Purple, holding her own hand over one of her pistols.

For what felt like an age, they stared each other down; it was so silent you could have heard a pin drop.

Then they each drew.

Ruby shot first - a burst of water sprayed from her water pistol, hitting Tejas Purple right in the chest. She cried out (and gurgled a little), stumbling to the ground and onto her back. Her own spray shot harmlessly into the blue sky.

Ruby blew on the muzzle of the water pistol and strode over.

“I told you, partner,” she said. “Y’all can’t outdraw Ruby Rider.”

“I…” Tejas Purple croaked. “I can see the light… Tell… tell Pearlie Mae… she…”

She closed her eyes.

“She smells like farts,” she whispered.

Ruby broke into giggles.

“I will,” she promised. “I - _snirck!_ \- I promise, Am-Tejas Purple.”

Tejas Purple stuck her tongue out, making exaggerated gurgling noises. Ruby turned her head (partially so that Amethyst couldn’t see her giggling) and began to walk away.

“ _BRAAAAAAINS._ ”

Ruby turned around - Tejas Purple was rising from the dead, drool spilling from her mouth as she held her arms outstretched.

“Oh no!” she exclaimed. “Zombie Tejas Purple! The legends were true!”

“I want… to suck… your _braaaaains!_ ” exclaimed Tejas Purple. “I…”

“E-excuse me!”

A member of the park staff, dressed in a red and white uniform and a cocked hat, strolled over.

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, but this is a Revolutionary War village,” he said. “Cowboys are a bit later in the timeline.”

Ruby and Amethyst glanced at each other.

“And zombies?” asked Amethyst.

“ _Much_ later.”

“Dang it.”

Ruby put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, Ames!” she said. “We’re just gonna have to change things up a bit.”

She glowed, and suddenly was wearing a similar uniform to the park staff member.

“Now, I’m gonna getcha, you rebel knave!” she exclaimed.

Amethyst glowed, taking on a blue and red version of Ruby’s new outfit.

“You’ll never take me alive, redcoat!” she shouted. “Never!”

She ran off, Ruby laughing and sprinting after her as she sprayed her with the water gun. The park ranger watched them turn the corner and disappear, letting out a long sigh.

“At least they didn’t burn down the granary this week,” he sighed. “Man, I hate Ruby-Amethyst Bonding Day.”

** End **


End file.
